60 Days to #Vanlife

Its been about two weeks since my last post. I had just briefly mentioned the start of Corona Virus. In the last two weeks things have only gotten worse. Everyday there is breaking news. Today we just hit 1 million worldwide infections, and I believe upwards of 50,000 deaths. There is no sign of it slowly down yet. Especially in the US. Washington has been ordered to stay home unless absolutely necessary. I am going on week 3 of being remote for work. Just the other day my firm extended the closure to April 20. Will be about 6 weeks at this point. I will not be surprised if that gets extended again. Trump also announced an extension of the "social distancing" guidelines until May 4th. New York has it the worse by far. Central Park is becoming a war zone hospital with tents and beds being constructed for the sick and dead. I also heard that we are ordering 100,000 extra body bags from Canada. Projections right now show 100,000 to 250,000 deaths in the US alone. The economy is taking maybe its biggest hit ever. In the last two weeks just about 10 million people have applied for unemployment. As a comparison, in 2008 about 300,000 people applied for it. The markets surprisingly have not reacted much since the massive drops almost a month ago. There has been some rebound in the last few weeks. I have a feeling in the next two weeks that will not be the case. I am fully expecting the worse and a massive drop like we have not seen before. The unemployment numbers are wild and stimulus packages are taking longer than expected to hit. Also it doesn't seem like things are getting better yet. Trump said the country will go through hell in the next few weeks. Also speaking of the economy, today my firm announced pay reductions starting May 1. I am losing 5% of my salary which completely blows but I am staying positive being thankful that I still have a job right now. I still have it good compared to many others. Although it is strange that no other accounting firms have announced pay reductions. It makes me wonder what mine did or what is making our situation different. My friends at other firms have only heard they are not getting bonuses. Also we were one of the last firms to close down but the first to cut pay. Not giving me a lot of faith in my new firm.

Other than Corona I have just been held up at home everyday all day other than the occasional trips to the store for food. Austin and I are thriving here. We are talking a lot more and our friendship is the best it's ever been. I love that. We are cooking a lot together. We made a pact to only eat wings for dinner until we perfected the process which we did after about 6 days. Wing restaurant coming in the future. We are also playing a ton of Runescape which actually amazing. I use to play in elementary school but was too young to fully grasp the game. Nostalgia is real when playing it. We spend more of our days working, usually 8am to around 6 or 7pm. Tax season doesn't stop for the sickness. Motivation is almost nonexistent so working is the biggest drag of all time. Days feel so long.

I have been going to my dad's on the weekends to continue van escapades. So last time I posted pics of the cabinet doors on and the flooring secured in. I have some updates but I will have (hopefully) some massive updates in a couple days. I ordered a lot of fun things to do and install so I hope all that goes to plan.

I ordered carpet from the front. A cooler instead of a fridge. I found a dash cover for the nasty gash it had, I went with black and painted all the red pieces on the dash black, as well as the engine cover. I also fixed the power steering since it was leaking. I added handles to the doors. And I added the cover to the battery box.

Below are pics per usual. I will add some VW pics since I cleaned her up some.

75 Days to #Vanlife

I haven't been on here in a little over two weeks because life and the world have been insane. I'll just start with the biggest news. We are in the middle of a global pandemic that seems like no one was prepared for at all. Coronavirus aka COVID-19 is what they are calling it. The first case was back in January in China. I had thought about posting about it a few weeks ago but thought I would have been premature in my concerns. That definitely was not the case. Since my last post, just in the US, cities have began shutting down, school is being cancelled in multiple states, all non-essential businesses have shut down, the stock market has tanked hard, almost all travel has been suspended, and much more. Point is that we are in unprecedented times. I don't think anyone currently alive has experienced something like this. I think maybe that last time something like this happened was in 1918 with the Spanish Flu but I am not familiar with that topic. Seattle has been almost completely shut down for a week now, its so empty that it's haunting. Today is Thursday and as of Monday my firm, among many others, have been shut down and we are completely remote for the time being. Literally everyday there is more breaking news about it. It would be too much to cover in this post. But I want to document some of it up to this point. Honestly it feels really early in this whole thing. I think life will be changed for quite awhile. Some quick notes of the last couple weeks; grocery stores are mostly empty especially toilet paper for some reason, CA state is in lockdown, the government is scrambling to contain all of this and to save the economy, thousands have already lost their jobs, China, Italy, Spain, and France are all basically shut down and quarantined, thousands have died across the globe from the virus, it effects the respiratory system and is most deadly to senior citizens.

Now on to some lighter topics I have some exciting van updates. I have finish installing cabinets and I installed flooring in Tammy. Pics to follow.   

I also had an amazing opportunity to save a 1972 VW hightop bus. Thanks to Jim. This thing will be a massive project but I am so excited to get started. I am also excited to dive in the VW scene since James has sent our entire friendship hyping it up. She doesn't have a name yet but once I spend more time with her I am sure it will come to me. Also pics to follow.

I wanted to do a high level recap of the past few weeks but really I have just been working and processing how fast the world is changing at the moment. I will definitely be documenting more as things develop. I am hoping to maintain the van builds but part of me is worried those will have to be on hold for a bit. As of today I have 75 days before I am out of my lease. I am not worried about making the jump to vanlife, it just might mean I will have to finish some things up while living in it. Makes the adventure more exciting I guess. Regardless vanlife must and will happen one way or the other.

90 Days to #Vanlife

Monday Feb 24th
This week started the last of me traveling around to auto clients. I spent Monday in Bellevue with Kristin and Megan. Probably the best duo to work with in the firm. I was super tired that day and I remember being extremely quiet and literally falling asleep in the conference room we were in. Kristin had made a comment about me being so quiet and she has made comments about it before so I know it's a concern of hers, especially when working with the clients. I just honestly hate small talk so much. And if its not someone I will be around a lot or making a genuine connection with I just don't care enough to put in effort. This is something I am trying to work on more. I would like to just strike up a conversation with anyone I run into without it being weird or awkward. Maybe going on more dates will help with that. Once I am in the van I need to make it a point to be out and about more often and not isolate myself. That will have the reserve effect I want.

Tuesday Feb 25th
Another day in Bellevue working with the dream team. This day I was in a much better mood and the day went by very smoothly. One of the next steps for the van is getting my water set up. After work I went online and planned out what I want to do. I bought tanks for my fresh water, two quick attachment pieces for the hose, and a little electric water pump.

Wednesday Feb. 26th
I was back in the office for the day. Many of my coworkers are so extremely stressed out from busy season. People aren't sleeping, they're in bad moods, and running out of patience. That is the worse way to get during this time of year at work. I have been in really great moods and trying to encourage and help them as much as I can. Some have been questioning how I am so positive all the time. I tell them that being negative only makes it worse and it consumes you making you depressed and takes all the joy out of life. Why would you let that happen if you can help it. I understand that it is easier said than done. So I have been reaching out to some people who really struggle to hopefully brighten their day and help even if its just a little. I think it has been helping and I think I am rubbing off on some of them which is great. It's such a good feeling helping out and being someone they can look up to. On a less positive note.. after work I had to run 4 miles and when I got to the gym I realized I forgot my headphones.. I almost just went home without running but I wanted to stick to my schedule and I just went and did all 4 miles on the treadmill without any music or show. I survived but will never do it again.

Thursday Feb. 27th
Brian (the partner at work) and I went to Bellingham for an auto client. He picked me up and drove. I was pretty relieved that he offered because I really didn't want to put more miles on my care since its a lease and I am already going to have to pay extra for excess miles. I enjoy working with Brian, he always has stories or knowledge to share. I think his story is what I use to envision when I was in college. Just getting the job in the city, put in the hours to keep moving up, and eventually you're partner living the high life. I always thought I had a very similar life ahead of me. But now when I listen to his stories about where he came from and how he got to where he is I think about all the missed opportunities. His best stories from his 20s and 30s are mostly work related. Sure he has an awesome life now and can do anything he wants like fly to Miami and go to the Superbowl, but I keep asking if that's worth it. He is going to be 60 next year, that's a long time from where I am at. I think next time I am with him I will asking if he had any regrets, or if he would change how he did something.

Friday Feb. 28th
Austin had some of his coworkers come over after work for Twilight night, which is exactly what you think. We watched all of the movies in that series and drank. But really we only made it through the first two before people started leaving. Maybe we will have a round two later. Somehow Austin got really lucky with his coworkers. They hangout outside of work all the time and are all best friends with each other. Even with ones that aren't in accounting, they hang out with people from marketing and HR. I never even get a chance to talk to none accountants at work. And they are always down to do stuff together. Maybe its because they are all single? Or because his firm is a lot smaller? I mentioned work friends before and I can't be a little jealous of his.

Saturday Feb. 29th
Being in the office Saturday dragged on because I was so antsy to leave to go see James and Chey. They were in town to look at the van on Sunday. I went straight to Tacoma as fast as I could so I didn't miss a chance with them. Colin and James were looking at a van for Colin earlier that day which is so awesome that Colin is wanting to get one too. I just hope we aren't peer pressuring him too much. We all hung out at James's parents condo just talking, laughing, and catching up. It was very much needed. Then Chey's mom and the twins came over for dinner. I love seeing them too. Rosa loves me so much for some reason, she is always so sweet to me and I truly cherish that. The twins are always fun to see and I don't even know how or when we became close with each other but I love that its like that. There's just no weirdness or awkwardness with any of them and me. Audrey came over after we ate, words cannot describe her. Every time I see her I am surprised, but she is the perfect example of someone who is just being the purest form of themselves. It's really admirable. We all drank wine and played charades. It was the best Saturday I have had in awhile.

Sunday March 1st
Sunday was the big day. James and Chey (and me) saw the van. There was some skepticism and concerns from both, understandably, it was a big decision and a lot of money to spend at one time. But in the end they bought it and I don't think they regret it at all. The adventures ahead will be more than worth it. They sadly left right after buying it but they had to get across the state and with the old van they needed time in case there were some hiccups. There were some but all in all they made it with no major issues. I am sure James will touch on it in his blog more. After they left I went to my dad's and started tinkering around with Tammy. Doing some planning and measuring for the next big steps. Sadly, I didn't have a lot of time there because I had to do a 10 mile run with Hannah for marathon training. The run went way better than I was expecting. I hadn't eaten much that day or really drank any water. I was concerned while driving over to meet Hannah. But I powered through and honestly felt great. It was by far the best 10 miles I have ran so far. On my way home that night I called my mom and just talked to see how she is doing. I feel awful that I don't see her more. I really really need to be better about that.

James and Chey's new child Berty and my water tanks (only new pics I have for Tammy)

 

95 Days to #Vanlife

Every time I create a new blog post I look up how many days until June 1st since that is the first day after my lease is up. This one marks under 100 days. For some reason that really hit me. I had a "Oh shit" moment just now. It's definitely approaching quickly.

I started writing notes in my phone after each day to have a better recollection of my days, thoughts, and feelings. It will probably result in even longer blog posts.. oh well. Maybe I should do them more often? 

A lot happened last weekend. All good things. Starting Friday, my very good friend Forest was in Seattle visiting the Seattle Film Institute and asked if I could meet up for a little bit. Even though I have been extremely busy at work I had to make some time for him. I have known Forest since high school and we have been really close since. We lived together last year but sadly I had only seen him a few times since I moved out. He's one of the goofiest people I know, always cracks me up when I am with him. He's had a tough go the past few years, but he keeps pushing and fighting. I know he will end up in a good place soon. He deserves it.  I started reading (listening to audio books) again. I had slowed down, I think, because I was getting so mentally drained at work that I didn't have enough brain power to pay attention. After listening to the podcast I bought "The Impossible First" and started listening. For whatever reason the lesson I learned from the podcast kind of brought me back mentally. I am tapping into a well of positivity and just feeling great. Seems like James and I are both riding high lately. It has been really sunny out lately.. maybe I had secret seasonal depression? Maybe its me being more purposeful in my life, being in charge of the things the happen instead of just letting things happen to me. Maybe a bit of both. Who knows. I won't question it. 

Saturday was a ton of fun, so much happened. First off, I met up with Colin to go look at a VW vanagon for James and Chey. I'll share some pics below. Hanging out with Colin that morning really made me think about why him and I haven't hung out since the summer. He lives like 15 minutes away from me, there is no excuse not to hangout. He has become a really great friend over the last couple years. Still can't believe we were never really friends back in high school. After the van visit, I went to work for a few hours. I had to leave though because my buddy at work was having a house warming party and some of our friends at work were all coming over. The party was awesome. I got to see some friends who had left the firm over the last year so I haven't seen them really at all since they left. On top of that, hanging out with my friends from work outside of work is always great. We can all really relax and be ourselves. I feel lucky to have all of them and without them the job would be so much different. We spend most of our time with each other so actually liking them is a huge plus. Cori and Paul taught us a new drinking game that is a blast. Can't wait to show everyone. One thing that really bothers me about hanging out with friends from work is that they seem to mostly want to talk or complain about work.. I hate that. I understand it to a point of course, but I feel like we all need an escape from it. I know everyone has an actual life outside of the office. They all have hobbies and goals and friends and families but we never seem to really talk about them. How do you break through to coworkers like that? I was also wondering what the line between work friends and real friends is. Maybe its just all about perspective. By that I mean, some people don't have much going on outside of work so they really only have work friends. Others, like myself, have really close friends outside of work so in my free time I would rather see them than my work friends. But what happens if I leave my job, do those relationships just go away since we only see each other at work? I have been at my job for close to 3 years and some of the people I have seen almost everyday for that whole time. I like to think that those people are real friends and not just work friends. But again, what is the line and how do you bridge the two? 

Sunday I sadly did not work on Tammy.. I had to make up some lost work time from the busy Saturday. Also it was very stormy here so the weather would have been terrible to be outside working on her. I decided to rest and relax at home. I cleaned my room finally, it was bad.. I have been out and about so much for work that everything was just piling up. After cleaning up I felt truly relaxed, I even lit a candle. It was very much needed. It's funny how such simple things can make you feel so good. Don't forget to enjoy the small, simple things in life. 

I think I am going to recap the work week either tomorrow or Sunday. 

103 Days to #Vanlife

I am a little off of my weekly goal for posting. I am realizing waiting longer than a week makes these posts difficult. It's hard to think back more than a week ago to recap what I did and thoughts I have had. Maybe that just means the last week and a half were not that important or impactful. I think I will start writing notes in my phone to help keep everything together.

Last week was very busy at work, I was easily working for close to 70 hours. I traveled to Auburn and Tacoma for some dealership fieldwork. I stayed with Hannah for two nights to avoid all the traffic from driving from Bellevue and also just to spend sometime with her. James and Chey tease us a lot but over the last couple years Hannah has become a really important friend to me. I like picking her brain about different things because she actually engages in deep conversation which I am realizing is hard to find in most people. 

The Friday that week was Valentine's Day and it came and went like any other Friday. That night I started watching the show Ragnarok on Netflix. It was surprisingly super good. It's Norwegian which is something I am not use to seeing on TV. I watched it in Norwegian to get the full experience. The show is an interesting take on the Norse mythology. I watched the whole thing in one weekend.

Saturday I woke and had to run 7 miles for my marathon training. I was a little worried because I hadn't ran over 3 miles since the half marathon I ran in December. After the first 3ish miles I was feeling great and the rest flew by. I then went to work and was there for roughly 10 hours. I left around 7pm. I went home and packed a bunch of clothes because I was going to be in Chehalis for work most of the next week and I always spend my Sunday at my Dad's working on Tammy.

Sunday is always my favorite day. My uncle was over helping my dad poor some concrete in the barn and he is master craftsman for sure. He was also helping me figure out how to do certain thing to the van. He taught me how to make cabinet doors, which are basically picture frames. I was so amazed. The process was pretty simple with the right tools but my brain would not have been able to put it all together on its own. But now I know how to do it and will never forget. It was one of the coolest things I have been taught. I was started to build a box around my battery and the other electrical components. Pictures to follow of course.

Monday through Wednesday I stayed down in Chehalis in a hotel with some co-workers. Luckily the ones who were with me are my favorite to work with. It was actually a lot of fun and is always great to hangout with them outside of a work setting. Brian is one of them and he is a partner, he's 59. He brought some bottles of wine for us all and he really got me into them. I never drink wine but that stuff was so good. He is a huge wine guy and has memberships all over the place. He told me if I ever go wine tasting to reach out to him so he can give me recommendations and to also give the places a call before hand to hook me up. I am hoping to take him up on that offer soon.

Thursday, which is today, I was back in the office. It was kind of nice to be back and see all my friends there. Also I don't know what was special about today but I was in an incredible mood all day. I was upbeat and talkative and just so social. I wish I felt like this everyday. Fingers crossed that it continues.

These last few weeks I have been missing James and Chey a lot. I am so excited for it to be summer and I can go over to Pullman and just hang out for a couple weeks. It's funny, James and I talk every single day and we have been for awhile it seems like. I say that to some people and they are really shocked that it's everyday. We just have so many of the same thoughts and can go off on all these ideas so easily. I am very thankful for that. I don't know if they will ever truly understand how important they are to me. They are truly life changing friends.

A huge topic of today for whatever reason was "fear". It came up multiple times which was bizarre but it's something that I think about a lot and something that I feel like I have a different viewpoint on. So I was talking with my coach at work Kristin. She always tells me about books she is listening to because I am trying to read more and keep adding to my list. She was talking about a book called "Take Control of Your Life" and basically it's about confronting fear and not letting fear control your life. When she was telling me about it I told her that I always say "Don't let fear control your life" that its one of my life mottos and something I tell people often. It was interesting because for her she had never realized that fear does in fact control most people's lives and dictates what people do and don't do. She only came to that conclusion because the lady in the book told her. For me, it was something that I had figured out through my own experiences and also by thinking about why some people talk a lot but never act. It's always "I'm scared this will happen.. or what if this.. or I don't want to mess it up... or that is going to hurt.." All of that prevents people from doing so many things. They aren't living in the present, they are constantly worried about the future. Then James told me to listen to Joe Rogan's recent podcast with Colin O'Brady, and the last like 20-30 minutes of that podcast were life changing. Colin talks about those mindsets. I will try and paraphrase what really stood out to me. He had a scale of 1-10 of how much joy you get out of moments, basically. 1 being a really bad day like the passing of a loved one or just going though immense pain, and 10 being something like achieving a life long dream or goal. He goes on to say that his fear is living a life constantly being in the 4-6 range. He talks about how most people are so afraid of the 1s that they just stay in the 4-6 range, never fully experiencing life. He says that in able to get to the 10s you have to experience the 1s. You get to those life changing experiences not in spite of the 1s but because of the 1s. We have to learn to appreciate and learn from the 1s. This resonated with more than anything in a long time. It reminded me of the kayak trip the boys and I went on. During it we had plenty of 1 moments, but finishing and reaching our goal and even looking back it all, is easily a 10 moment. It was truly life changing. One more thing before I wrap up. While talking to Kristin I realized that my view point on fear is a huge reason I am so calm all the time. My co-workers always comment on how I am never stressed out and just so calm. I think of big part of that is that I'm not scared of most things. I am not scared to try or to fail. I have a desire to learn and try new things. I know failing isn't going to be the end and its one of the best ways to learn. Plus it's not like anything at work is that important in the grand scheme. It was no weight over me.

One last thing that happened yesterday. My Dad finished his classes and got his high school diploma. That is so amazing and I know how much it means to him. It just makes me incredibly happy. Also he finished it so fast... it's crazy. So proud of him.

Picture time!

114 Days to #Vanlife

A lot happened this last week and I am going to try hit everything in order.

Lately I have been questioning what I really want out of life. I had this moment at work early in the week that I can't stop thinking about. I was sitting at my desk working and I just plugged my headphones in so they could charge. I took a second and just took in my surroundings and all I could hear was the constant typing from everyone around me. Then something hit me and in my head I said "What the fuck am I doing here?"I just felt like my life was being wasted there. I'm not adding any value to myself. I'm just inside this cube, I can't even see outside and I am there 10-12 hours a day for 6 days a week. I was so distracted at that point that I reached out to my good friend Cori who sits by me just to express these thoughts. Turns out she has similar thoughts. We talked about how in college you work so hard to get to this point, this career and you think you are going to feel successful and satisfied. We don't even know if we are going to enjoy the job but after putting so much time and effort into getting there you feel like you have to force your way through it. I hated that idea. She said that she always thinks about leaving the city to some small town away from everything and just work at a coffee shop. Honestly that sounds perfect. I always thought I would graduate and move to the city, work hard, and get a nice house there. I realize that I don't want any of that. But so many people have those goals. I wonder if most people actually want those things or if they just think they are suppose to do those things.

Only a day after I had that moment at work I was in a meeting with my team at work. I work mostly in our auto niche and the niche gets together every other week. In this meeting the two people I work with the most, a partner and a principal, gave me extremely high praise for my work and how much I have done for the team. In the last couple years the team has lost a lot of members so things have been tough. I was forced into a role faster than I typically would have to take on. Apparently I am doing a great job. That was honestly really hard to hear, especially after having all of the previously mentioned thoughts. I really respect and enjoy the people on my team. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't still be there. I don't know if that is good or bad. I haven't brought up any concerns to them. I know they are going to try and convince me to stay or offer to make things different so I stay. I don't want them to do that cause I don't think it would matter. I am dreading that conversation when it happens. I would like to stay at the job for a little purely because the money is so good. If I can cut my expenses with the van and just massively save for a little while I think it would be worth it.

On Friday I was out at a client in North Bend with my favorite person to work with. She is my coach and part of the auto team so we work together all the time. When we were leaving at the end of the day she texted me and said "Do you know how much I love working with you? I hope you do, you're my fave." That was really great to hear but it was also so hard to hear because it just made me feel bad. I know that there would be no bad feelings at all between anyone and me if I leave. It's just hard because I know it would make their lives harder at work. Who would want to do that to people they truly respect and value?

My dad and step-mom asked me to watch their house that weekend because they had to go Oregon for a funeral. So Friday night I drove down after work. While I was driving I got a message from my ex's sister. She was asking about some wedding photos that my ex and I had taken for her friend. My ex and I have been broken up for a little over a year at this point and we were together for about two years. We were friends for a long time before that and I have been really close with her family for a long time, but I hadn't spoken to any of them since the break up. I was both nervous and excited to hear from her sister. I found the photos she was asking about and we planned on meeting up Saturday so I could give them to her. So Saturday I drove over to her house, and I was really nervous because I did not know how this was going to go. But she was really happy to see me and we talked for almost 4 hours. Just catching up and going over everything that happened in the past. I never reached out to them because my ex told me none of them wanted to speak to me so I respected that and stayed away. Turns out that was a lie and they were all hurt/surprised I never reached out. That really hurt to hear. But after over a year I feel like I have no place reaching out now. That whole relationship was extremely hard on me. When we first got together it was like a dream come true and I thought I would marry her. I won't speak ill of her but unfortunately being friends and being a couple are not the same thing. I haven't felt like dating at all since then. And I didn't really understand until I had that conversation with her sister. That whole break up was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I completely broke her heart which is just terrible to watch happen, I lost one of my longest friendships, and I lost her whole family who I loved so much. I think I am scared to put myself through something like that again. So I'm working on that.

Saturday night I took my mom and my two sisters out to dinner for my mom's birthday that was earlier in the week. That was really nice and very much needed. I see my dad all the time because the van is at his house so I see him just about every weekend. We also have a lot in common so it's easy to spend a lot of time with him. But I need to see my mom more. She is the best. Just the sweetest most selfless person I know. I worry about her and I want to give her everything she's ever wanted. I just want her to fully enjoy her life. She has not had the best of luck and she deserves so much more. She loves being a mom and does everything for her kids. I am hoping that once I buy some land that I can build her a little place that she doesn't have to pay for, just to take as much stress away as I can.

Finally, Sunday... always the highlight of my week because I get to work on Tammy. This time I got the nails I was missing and assembled the cabinets from last weekend. I also built the second set that will go next to the first ones. I just need to get doors built and the counter top. I think I am going to buy all my water equipment. I am planning on three 5 gallon jugs, two for fresh water and one for grey water. I am also planning on getting a little water pump that I can easily wire up. Also I need to box off my electrical components. After that box is built I can install the flooring. Everything is happening so fast now and its so exciting. Pics below as always.