This one is about to start off real heavy. Kobe Bryant died in helicopter crash today. He was with his 13 year old daughter and another family going to a basketball tournament for their daughters. I'm not a big basketball guy but everyone knew who Kobe was. It's weird how you feel like you know celebrities. We see them on TV or in the news all the time and their lives are usually so open to the public. We get such a big look into their lives and when something like this happens you really feel it. It's weird too because last weekend I was talking with my dad and stepmom about family and ancestry. I remember telling them how scared I am to lose a close family member because I have been lucky that it hasn't happened to me yet. I hate thinking about that, it really freaks me out.
Anyways.. I'll recap my weekend since it's Sunday night.
Saturday I worked until around 4:30pm, then Austin (my roommate) and I went to go see our friend Janelle's new place. I met both of them at WSU and I work with Janelle now. We played with her and her roommate's dogs. Lilo is Janelle's golden puppy and Maple is her roommate's Corgi, I think Maple for a dogs name is amazing. Then we went and got Dick's. I tried to show them both some anime but they didn't even try to give it a chance, slightly hurtful. After that Austin went out with some of his coworkers and I went home to get a jump on my sleep since I haven't been doing that so well lately.
Sunday I went to my aunt's house to get my haircut by my cousin Kacey. He is a self taught barber but he kills it. He hooked me up with that Tommy Shelby haircut. I hope I can spend some more time with him in the future. He's got a great head on his shoulders and I am really hoping for the best for him. He hasn't had the easiest upbringing but now I think him and my aunt are in a much better place. I wish I could do more to help them out.
After the haircut I family dinner at my other aunt's house with my mom and sisters. I hadn't seen them since Christmas so it was really great to see everyone. As much as I love to see them, I always find it hard to really connect with most of my family. I've just gone a completely different path then any of them have gone. They also never seem to remember the details of my life. They forget where I am living or can't remember exactly what I do at work even though I have been at this job since I graduated college 3 years ago. They explain things about my life to other family members or family friends wrong so it's always awkward correcting them and fully explaining again. Also tonight I was explaining how I budget to my sister because she wanted some help, and my aunt and uncle kept making fun of the fact that I budget all my money.. they seriously would not drop it. I just couldn't understand how that was funny. They struggle with money and should probably have listened instead of poke fun of it. Anyways, they're great and supportive and I love them, its just difficult to feel a real connection sometimes and that is frustrating to me. I don't think they feel that way, it might just be me.
Something that occurred to me the other day is that I haven't been doing the usual things I do for fun when I am home. I use to play video games pretty often but I have not had the desire to do so lately. Even with TV shows I enjoy, I just don't feel like watching. I kind of feel like I am just sitting in my room wasting time until its time for me to go to sleep. I will mindlessly scroll through my phone which is so annoying of me to do. I do think about the van a lot though. I constantly think about what I need to do and what I want to do and how I am going to do it all. I wish I could work on it at my house and not have to drive an hour away to my dad's. Not much I can do about that though. I wonder if I am just mentally worn out from the recent increase in hours at work, or if maybe depression is creeping its way back to me, or maybe a bit of both. Busy season at work really does fuck with people. I need to find a way to combat it. I definitely need to maintain a regular workout schedule through all of this.
Here is a progress pic of Tammy and what I am always thinking about.
